1
00:00:06,191 --> 00:00:07,275
What's this meeting about?
2
00:00:07,359 --> 00:00:08,484
Did someone find my meatball sub?
3
00:00:08,568 --> 00:00:10,403
A, we would never have
a meeting about that.
4
00:00:10,487 --> 00:00:12,364
B, you are holding it. Oh. [CHUCKLES]
5
00:00:12,656 --> 00:00:14,406
Meeting adjourned.
Meeting's not over, dummy.
6
00:00:14,490 --> 00:00:15,782
Terry said he had some
news from the office
7
00:00:15,866 --> 00:00:19,035
of Commissioner Wuntch. Ugh!
What does that human blister want now?
8
00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:21,169
Does she intend to
demote me even further?
9
00:00:21,372 --> 00:00:23,623
Or perhaps she'll transfer me
to the swamps of New Jersey
10
00:00:23,707 --> 00:00:26,126
so I can patrol the sinkhole
where she was spawned.
11
00:00:26,210 --> 00:00:27,294
Or it's possible the announcement
12
00:00:27,378 --> 00:00:28,503
has nothing to do with you.
13
00:00:28,587 --> 00:00:29,588
Oh, good thinking, Peralta.
14
00:00:29,672 --> 00:00:31,673
You're right.
Maybe Madeline wants to inform us all
15
00:00:31,757 --> 00:00:32,882
that she's a Cheuksin.
16
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:34,134
A what? A Cheuksin.
17
00:00:34,259 --> 00:00:36,344
A Korean toilet ghost,
lives in an outhouse,
18
00:00:36,428 --> 00:00:37,804
wraps her hair around your throat
19
00:00:37,888 --> 00:00:39,930
and chokes you to death
while you move your bowels.
20
00:00:40,014 --> 00:00:42,266
You know what? I will give you $6,000
21
00:00:42,350 --> 00:00:44,350
if the announcement is she's a Cheuksin.
22
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,562
Okay, everyone. I have some news.
23
00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:48,939
That Madeline Wuntch
is a Korean toilet ghost?
24
00:00:49,023 --> 00:00:51,109
Boring. We already knew that.
25
00:00:51,234 --> 00:00:54,194
Madeline Wuntch is dead. Say what now?
26
00:00:54,278 --> 00:00:56,280
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
27
00:01:14,589 --> 00:01:16,090
Wait, Wuntch is dead?
28
00:01:16,174 --> 00:01:18,593
Yeah. The Commissioner's
office just notified us.
29
00:01:18,677 --> 00:01:20,470
No way that's true. As Wuntch says
30
00:01:20,554 --> 00:01:21,754
when she sees deodorant,
31
00:01:22,055 --> 00:01:23,348
"I'm not buying it." [LAUGHS]
32
00:01:23,432 --> 00:01:25,350
-Sir, she's dead.
-HOLT: Oh, Terry.
33
00:01:25,475 --> 00:01:26,893
Zombies can't die.
34
00:01:26,977 --> 00:01:28,353
This is some sort of scam.
35
00:01:28,437 --> 00:01:29,520
If she were dead,
36
00:01:29,604 --> 00:01:31,146
we would be hearing
the sounds of children
37
00:01:31,230 --> 00:01:32,564
-singing in the streets.
-BOYLE: I don't know, sir.
38
00:01:32,648 --> 00:01:34,274
You didn't believe it when we told you
39
00:01:34,358 --> 00:01:35,734
the Disco Strangler died either.
40
00:01:35,818 --> 00:01:36,902
And I was right. He was faking it.
41
00:01:36,986 --> 00:01:37,986
Maybe she's alive.
42
00:01:38,070 --> 00:01:39,446
Why would Wuntch fake her own death?
43
00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:41,531
The same reason she
visits Mexico once a year
44
00:01:41,615 --> 00:01:43,408
and sucks the blood from all the goats.
45
00:01:43,492 --> 00:01:44,660
For kicks.
46
00:01:44,744 --> 00:01:45,952
Look, I don't know what to tell you,
47
00:01:46,036 --> 00:01:47,037
but she's dead. What do you want?
48
00:01:47,121 --> 00:01:49,321
To open up her coffin
and check for yourself?
49
00:01:49,874 --> 00:01:51,167
Oh, she's very dead.
50
00:01:52,418 --> 00:01:54,127
Hello, gentlemen. Guess who's walking
51
00:01:54,211 --> 00:01:55,629
the red carpet this Saturday?
52
00:01:55,713 --> 00:01:57,630
Chord Overstreet. Who?
53
00:01:57,756 --> 00:02:00,049
Sam Evans from Glee. No, me.
Why would you guess that?
54
00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:01,300
I was clearly talking about me.
55
00:02:01,384 --> 00:02:02,843
Okay, but for the record,
I bet Chord Overstreet
56
00:02:02,927 --> 00:02:04,053
will also be walking one.
57
00:02:04,137 --> 00:02:05,137
Stop talking about Chord Overstreet.
58
00:02:05,221 --> 00:02:07,182
No, I'm going to the world premiere
59
00:02:07,390 --> 00:02:09,058
of Kwazy Kupcakes: The Movie.
60
00:02:09,309 --> 00:02:10,935
Whoa! How'd you get the invite?
61
00:02:11,019 --> 00:02:12,311
My buddy Mikey J. hooked me up.
62
00:02:12,395 --> 00:02:13,813
Oh, your ska friend?
Did he work on the movie?
63
00:02:13,897 --> 00:02:15,773
No, he submitted an unsolicited script
64
00:02:15,857 --> 00:02:17,274
that a producer accidentally opened
65
00:02:17,358 --> 00:02:19,193
so legally they had to
give him a "story by" credit,
66
00:02:19,277 --> 00:02:20,945
and now I've got four tickets.
67
00:02:21,070 --> 00:02:23,238
Wow. So who you bringing?
68
00:02:23,322 --> 00:02:26,032
You know, Cagney and
Lacey love Kwazy Kupcakes.
69
00:02:26,116 --> 00:02:27,659
They are crazy Kwazy fans.
70
00:02:27,743 --> 00:02:30,161
Cool.
Well, if you guys are free this Saturday…
71
00:02:30,245 --> 00:02:31,830
Stop, before you say anything you regret,
72
00:02:31,914 --> 00:02:33,791
you should know that Kwazy Kupcakes
73
00:02:33,999 --> 00:02:35,208
means a lot to Nikolaj.
74
00:02:35,292 --> 00:02:37,711
At the orphanage, that
game was his only friend.
75
00:02:37,836 --> 00:02:40,547
Touching, but Cagney and
Lacey don't have any friends at all.
76
00:02:40,631 --> 00:02:42,257
Maybe they can make some at this event.
77
00:02:42,341 --> 00:02:44,175
So what do you say, Jake?
Whose kids do you like more?
78
00:02:44,259 --> 00:02:46,010
What? Wait, wait, wait.
That's not what this is about.
79
00:02:46,094 --> 00:02:48,178
No, Boyle's right.
Whose kids do you like more?
80
00:02:48,262 --> 00:02:49,304
Tell us now. Okay.
81
00:02:49,388 --> 00:02:50,556
You guys are being really intense.
82
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:52,516
I like all of your kids an equal amount.
83
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,143
Just give me some
space and I'll figure out
84
00:02:54,227 --> 00:02:55,227
who I'm gonna take.
85
00:02:55,311 --> 00:02:56,562
Okay, backing off. Stepping away.
86
00:02:56,646 --> 00:02:58,188
Making room. Letting you breathe.
87
00:02:58,272 --> 00:03:00,222
-PERALTA: Thank you.
-[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
88
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,862
Did you both just send me
pictures of your kids crying?
89
00:03:04,946 --> 00:03:06,030
BOTH: No.
90
00:03:06,155 --> 00:03:09,116
Ding, dong, the Wuntch is dead.
91
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,244
Bagels for everyone!
92
00:03:11,369 --> 00:03:12,703
So I guess you believe it now.
93
00:03:12,787 --> 00:03:14,078
Yep. Wanna see the selfies I took?
94
00:03:14,162 --> 00:03:15,830
Actually, yes.
I'll share the album with you.
95
00:03:15,914 --> 00:03:17,958
Oh, my God! I just heard about Wuntch!
96
00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:19,584
She was so young!
97
00:03:19,793 --> 00:03:21,086
For a redwood tree.
98
00:03:21,211 --> 00:03:22,628
I don't understand what's going on.
99
00:03:22,712 --> 00:03:23,713
Why are you crying?
100
00:03:23,922 --> 00:03:25,966
A person is dead. I feel sad.
101
00:03:26,258 --> 00:03:28,858
That's insane.
You don't feel sad when a monster dies
102
00:03:28,969 --> 00:03:29,970
in a monster movie.
103
00:03:30,095 --> 00:03:32,805
In E.T. did you feel sad when E.T. dies?
104
00:03:32,889 --> 00:03:34,307
Yes. He wasn't a monster.
105
00:03:34,432 --> 00:03:35,516
He caused a real commotion.
106
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,352
It isn't just Wuntch.
I started seeing a fertility doctor
107
00:03:38,436 --> 00:03:40,145
and she has me taking hormones
108
00:03:40,229 --> 00:03:41,313
to help with ovulation
109
00:03:41,397 --> 00:03:43,482
and my emotions are in overdrive.
110
00:03:43,649 --> 00:03:46,026
Well, I know just the
thing to cheer you up.
111
00:03:46,110 --> 00:03:48,654
Wuntch is dead! Bagel!
112
00:03:48,904 --> 00:03:50,822
Bagel! Bagel!
113
00:03:50,906 --> 00:03:52,991
Sir, I am loving this color on you,
114
00:03:53,075 --> 00:03:54,159
but don't you think you
should tone it down?
115
00:03:54,243 --> 00:03:55,786
Why, in case I run into her family?
116
00:03:55,870 --> 00:03:57,579
I'm not planning any
trips to the Bronx Zoo.
117
00:03:57,663 --> 00:04:00,081
Wait. Does this mean you're
gonna be captain again?
118
00:04:00,165 --> 00:04:01,958
It does. The Chief of Personnel called
119
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,892
to say the promotion is in the works.
120
00:04:04,086 --> 00:04:05,461
Her death means I've won.
121
00:04:05,628 --> 00:04:07,296
It's finally over.
122
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:08,381
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
123
00:04:10,008 --> 00:04:12,427
An email from Madeline Wuntch?
124
00:04:12,844 --> 00:04:15,638
Subject line, "It's not over."
125
00:04:16,139 --> 00:04:17,140
My friends,
126
00:04:17,599 --> 00:04:20,142
I have a proclamation to bestow upon ye.
127
00:04:20,226 --> 00:04:21,477
Why are you talking like that?
128
00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:24,104
And why'd you have us come in here?
Is this about the tickets?
129
00:04:24,188 --> 00:04:25,648
It is indeed about said tickets,
130
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:28,442
and said proclamation
about said tickets is in fact…
131
00:04:28,526 --> 00:04:30,486
Jake, just tell us.
No one is liking this.
132
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,278
I'm loving it. You sound so smart.
133
00:04:32,362 --> 00:04:34,948
Oh, thank you, my loyal subject, Charles.
134
00:04:35,115 --> 00:04:38,952
Now, as you know, this decision
has been quite hard upon me,
135
00:04:39,036 --> 00:04:40,203
title of mine sex tape
136
00:04:40,287 --> 00:04:42,247
but I have made it at long last,
137
00:04:42,539 --> 00:04:43,706
and it is my decree
138
00:04:43,790 --> 00:04:46,543
that the recipient of
said tickets shall be…
139
00:04:47,794 --> 00:04:49,546
Both of you. What?
Did you talk to Mikey J.
140
00:04:49,630 --> 00:04:52,382
And get more tickets?
Indeed I did not, but it is my decision
141
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:55,426
that I will cut all of
said tickets in twain.
142
00:04:55,510 --> 00:04:58,510
Twain? Terry doesn't want a
twained ticket to Kwazy Kupcakes.
143
00:04:58,638 --> 00:04:59,638
That's not how tickets work.
144
00:04:59,722 --> 00:05:01,139
You'd just be ruining them.
None of us would get in.
145
00:05:01,223 --> 00:05:02,642
Are you dumb? No!
146
00:05:03,434 --> 00:05:04,434
All right, full disclosure.
147
00:05:04,518 --> 00:05:05,769
I was trying to do that Bible thing
148
00:05:05,853 --> 00:05:07,229
and then one of you was
gonna take the high road
149
00:05:07,313 --> 00:05:08,897
and say that rather than
see the tickets destroyed,
150
00:05:08,981 --> 00:05:11,024
you would just bow
out, and then that person
151
00:05:11,108 --> 00:05:12,192
was gonna get the tickets.
152
00:05:12,276 --> 00:05:13,819
Nope. If I don't get them, no one does.
153
00:05:13,903 --> 00:05:15,321
Agreed. Boyles or bust.
154
00:05:15,613 --> 00:05:17,322
Cut them up.
[SIGHS] I'm not gonna do that.
155
00:05:17,406 --> 00:05:19,032
I'm just gonna have to think of
another way to figure this out.
156
00:05:19,116 --> 00:05:21,616
Stupid Bible with stupid
lessons never solved crap.
157
00:05:22,078 --> 00:05:24,829
So you were right. Wuntch was
not able to claw through her coffin
158
00:05:24,913 --> 00:05:26,289
and write the email herself.
159
00:05:26,373 --> 00:05:28,583
It turns out, the lawyer
for her estate sent it.
160
00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:30,293
I wish I had taken the LSATs.
161
00:05:30,502 --> 00:05:33,713
Not to be a lawyer.
Just seems like a fun test.
162
00:05:33,838 --> 00:05:34,839
Dude, you're bumming us out.
163
00:05:34,923 --> 00:05:37,592
All right.
The email contains a link to a video.
164
00:05:37,884 --> 00:05:39,302
I'm going to play it. Brace yourselves.
165
00:05:39,386 --> 00:05:42,305
If it shows Madeline, be sure
not to look directly into her eyes.
166
00:05:42,389 --> 00:05:43,389
Because we'll turn to stone?
167
00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:44,975
No. Because her eyes are ugly.
168
00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:47,476
Hello, Raymond. Surprised to see me?
169
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,269
-[KEYBOARD CLICKS]
-Well, I didn't say Bloody Mary
170
00:05:49,353 --> 00:05:50,562
three times, so yes.
171
00:05:50,729 --> 00:05:52,063
When did she record this?
172
00:05:52,147 --> 00:05:53,857
Judging by the flames around
her, it could be a livestream.
173
00:05:53,941 --> 00:05:56,691
-[CHUCKLES] Very good, Rosa. [LAUGHING]
-[KEYBOARD CLICKS]
174
00:05:56,777 --> 00:05:59,070
I'm sure you consider my
untimely death a victory,
175
00:05:59,154 --> 00:06:00,614
but I'd never let you win.
176
00:06:00,823 --> 00:06:02,490
I told everyone that in my final days,
177
00:06:02,574 --> 00:06:06,411
we reconciled and you insisted
on hosting and organizing
178
00:06:06,495 --> 00:06:08,622
my NYPD memorial service.
179
00:06:08,706 --> 00:06:11,082
I know you won't be able
to resist badmouthing me
180
00:06:11,166 --> 00:06:13,209
at the service.
All the top brass will be there,
181
00:06:13,293 --> 00:06:15,943
and when you speak ill of
me, it will end your career.
182
00:06:16,045 --> 00:06:17,880
It's over. I won.
183
00:06:17,964 --> 00:06:18,965
Bye, Raymond.
184
00:06:19,465 --> 00:06:21,842
Oh, no. I'm doomed.
185
00:06:21,926 --> 00:06:24,386
Seriously? All you have to
do is not insult a dead woman
186
00:06:24,470 --> 00:06:25,763
at her own memorial service.
187
00:06:25,847 --> 00:06:26,848
Exactly.
188
00:06:27,598 --> 00:06:28,683
It's impossible.
189
00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:33,604
Oh, you must be feeling better.
190
00:06:33,688 --> 00:06:35,356
You're heating up your
favorite meal, beans.
191
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,732
They're refried. It's bad enough
192
00:06:36,816 --> 00:06:38,233
they were cooked once, let alone twice,
193
00:06:38,317 --> 00:06:39,838
and now the toaster
oven makes it three times.
194
00:06:39,922 --> 00:06:40,401
[OVEN BEEPS]
195
00:06:40,485 --> 00:06:42,236
I couldn't be crying for help any louder.
196
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:45,365
So I take it you couldn't get out
of organizing Wuntch's memorial.
197
00:06:45,449 --> 00:06:46,649
Oh, no. It's impossible.
198
00:06:46,783 --> 00:06:48,326
She has bested me yet again.
199
00:06:48,410 --> 00:06:50,912
Well, then stop being
such a moron, you idiot.
200
00:06:51,204 --> 00:06:53,290
Amy! Sorry, it's the hormones.
201
00:06:53,582 --> 00:06:54,916
They're making me really irritable.
202
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,584
Angry Amy's right.
All you have to do is say
203
00:06:56,668 --> 00:06:58,169
a few nice comments during the memorial.
204
00:06:58,253 --> 00:07:00,630
As God said when Wuntch tried to
sneak past the gates into heaven,
205
00:07:00,714 --> 00:07:03,091
"It ain't happening, honey." [LAUGHS]
206
00:07:03,175 --> 00:07:05,926
I tried to write a kind
speech about her last night,
207
00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:07,310
and this is what came out.
208
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,846
Oh. It's, like, 20 pages long.
209
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,390
Why is it in all caps?
210
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:12,724
So I remember to yell it.
211
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,311
Oh, well, you obviously
can't read any of this.
212
00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:17,729
Look, since you can't say anything nice,
213
00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:20,565
try saying the opposite of
whatever you're thinking.
214
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,943
Interesting. I'll give it a whirl.
215
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,448
Madeline Wuntch was…
216
00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,701
A friend. See? It's not that hard
217
00:07:30,785 --> 00:07:32,118
to say something… Oh, you're vomiting.
218
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,203
[RETCHING]
219
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,579
Hi, Jake. It's me, Nikolaj.
220
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:37,081
Hey, bud. What are you doing here?
221
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,083
It's Thursday.
Shouldn't you be at tailoring class?
222
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,209
I want to say thank you.
223
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,877
Dad said that you were giving us tickets
224
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,504
to the Kwazy Kupcakes movie.
225
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:46,925
Oh, he did, did he? Excuse me one second.
226
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:49,010
[WHISPERING] Of all the twisted moves!
227
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:50,845
Don't hate the player.
Go ahead. Tell Niko
228
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:51,971
he's not going. I dare you.
229
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,222
[GRUNTS, CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
230
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,057
Hey, listen. [CLEARS THROAT]
231
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,559
Niko, there's something I gotta tell you.
232
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,351
BOTH: Uncle Jake! Uncle Jake!
233
00:07:58,435 --> 00:08:00,812
Slow down, girls. No need to run.
234
00:08:00,896 --> 00:08:05,109
Uncle Jake is family.
Now, what do you wanna say to Uncle Jake?
235
00:08:05,484 --> 00:08:07,318
BOTH: Thank you for the tickets.
236
00:08:07,402 --> 00:08:09,738
Oh, that's so cute how you said that
237
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,823
at the same time without
rehearsing it in the car.
238
00:08:11,907 --> 00:08:14,159
It sure is.
Hey, Terry, Charles, can I speak with you
239
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:15,243
in the break room for a moment?
240
00:08:15,327 --> 00:08:17,204
Uh, hey, kids, look at this.
241
00:08:17,996 --> 00:08:19,706
Pimping out your kids?
I hate to say this,
242
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,499
but you two are acting like bad dads,
243
00:08:21,583 --> 00:08:24,084
and I should know. One time my
father forgot to pick me up from school
244
00:08:24,168 --> 00:08:25,836
'cause he was having sex
with my best friend's mom.
245
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:26,962
Oh, my God. That's terrible.
246
00:08:27,046 --> 00:08:28,547
Yeah. I was 15.
247
00:08:28,631 --> 00:08:29,715
I just walked to the mall and watched
248
00:08:29,799 --> 00:08:31,216
Empire Records by
myself, but the point is,
249
00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:32,718
you're both acting ridiculous.
250
00:08:32,802 --> 00:08:34,511
No, this is on you, Jake.
251
00:08:34,595 --> 00:08:35,596
You need to make a choice.
252
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:37,431
That's not fair. You both want to go
253
00:08:37,515 --> 00:08:39,465
and I don't want to hurt either of you.
254
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:40,900
But maybe I don't have to.
255
00:08:41,102 --> 00:08:42,770
I can let fate hurt you.
256
00:08:42,854 --> 00:08:44,688
We'll flip a coin.
Terry, call it in the air.
257
00:08:44,772 --> 00:08:46,065
Heads or tails.
258
00:08:46,524 --> 00:08:47,775
[GRUNTS] Neither.
259
00:08:48,401 --> 00:08:51,194
Oh, my God.
Did you just fold my quarter in half?
260
00:08:51,403 --> 00:08:53,864
Fate's a bitch. You make the choice.
261
00:08:54,781 --> 00:08:56,824
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
262
00:08:56,908 --> 00:08:59,744
Just so you know, I would
never bend your money.
263
00:08:59,953 --> 00:09:01,287
Yeah, 'cause you can't.
Correct, I cannot.
264
00:09:01,371 --> 00:09:03,165
No one can. How did he do that?
265
00:09:04,207 --> 00:09:06,417
Now these fertility drugs
are making me sweat.
266
00:09:06,501 --> 00:09:07,752
Is it noticeable? No.
267
00:09:07,836 --> 00:09:09,921
Yes. Oh.
I thought we were gonna lie to her
268
00:09:10,005 --> 00:09:11,339
because it's so upsetting to look at.
269
00:09:11,423 --> 00:09:13,049
Just tell me what
room the memorial is in.
270
00:09:13,133 --> 00:09:14,633
We don't have a lot of time to set up.
271
00:09:14,717 --> 00:09:16,802
About that.
Yesterday, before you convinced me
272
00:09:16,886 --> 00:09:18,512
to hold a respectful service,
273
00:09:18,596 --> 00:09:20,097
I sent some instructions
274
00:09:20,181 --> 00:09:21,881
for how I wanted the room to look.
275
00:09:22,141 --> 00:09:24,768
We may need to make some tweaks.
276
00:09:24,935 --> 00:09:26,135
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
277
00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:29,773
So many balloon arches.
278
00:09:30,024 --> 00:09:32,109
I know. It all has to go.
279
00:09:32,193 --> 00:09:35,196
Okay! Everyone, we have work to do.
280
00:09:35,321 --> 00:09:36,906
[FUNERAL MUSIC PLAYING]
281
00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:38,532
Better? Much.
282
00:09:38,616 --> 00:09:40,241
But to be clear, the
first version was dope
283
00:09:40,325 --> 00:09:41,617
and you have my respect for life.
284
00:09:41,701 --> 00:09:45,163
Excuse me.
Is this the memorial for Madeline Wuntch?
285
00:09:45,788 --> 00:09:48,750
Yes, this is the memorial
for Madeline Wuntch.
286
00:09:49,125 --> 00:09:52,587
Just saying her name
brings tears to my eyes.
287
00:09:52,712 --> 00:09:54,762
Why, because her heart
was made of onions?
288
00:09:55,381 --> 00:09:57,258
Excuse me?
Madeline Wuntch was what you get
289
00:09:57,342 --> 00:09:59,468
when you cross a slug
with an anal fissure.
290
00:09:59,552 --> 00:10:02,252
We spent our entire lives
trying to destroy each other.
291
00:10:03,056 --> 00:10:05,391
I was her one true nemesis.
292
00:10:09,436 --> 00:10:10,520
No.
293
00:10:11,188 --> 00:10:14,650
Hey there, Jake. I felt bad
about folding your quarter in half,
294
00:10:14,775 --> 00:10:17,069
so I got you a new one.
295
00:10:17,569 --> 00:10:20,113
Thank you. But that's not a quarter.
296
00:10:20,364 --> 00:10:22,991
Wow, you're right.
That happens to be an 1883
297
00:10:23,075 --> 00:10:25,285
Carson City silver dollar
in near-mint condition
298
00:10:25,369 --> 00:10:26,953
complete with commemorative case.
299
00:10:27,037 --> 00:10:29,998
[WHISTLES] That's gotta be worth $138.
300
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:31,649
You know what? Keep it.
301
00:10:31,791 --> 00:10:34,418
Shame. Shame, Terrence Jeffords, shame!
302
00:10:34,502 --> 00:10:35,627
You probably didn't realize this, Jake,
303
00:10:35,711 --> 00:10:38,005
but the lieutenant over
here is trying to bribe you.
304
00:10:38,089 --> 00:10:39,089
Yeah, I don't think he's hiding that.
305
00:10:39,173 --> 00:10:40,841
I am not. Well, neither am I.
306
00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:42,426
Here's a check for $200.
307
00:10:42,969 --> 00:10:47,055
Another silver dollar.
Ooh, looks like I'm up to $276.
308
00:10:47,139 --> 00:10:50,393
Well, here's a second check for $77.
309
00:10:50,518 --> 00:10:51,852
I am up $1.
310
00:10:51,936 --> 00:10:52,936
Four more.
311
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,354
How many silver dollars do you have?
312
00:10:54,438 --> 00:10:55,439
As many as it takes.
313
00:10:55,564 --> 00:10:57,273
Well, this checkbook is only on 304,
314
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,150
so I can write checks all day long.
315
00:10:59,234 --> 00:11:00,359
Well, you know what? Here's my watch.
316
00:11:00,443 --> 00:11:01,444
Yeah, melt this down.
317
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:03,696
Enough! I'm tired of being
stuck in the middle of this.
318
00:11:03,780 --> 00:11:06,130
You figure out who gets
the tickets and tell me.
319
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,868
That should keep them
busy for a little while.
320
00:11:08,952 --> 00:11:11,413
Hey, Jake, we've
decided how to settle this.
321
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:13,338
We're gonna duke it out in the ring.
322
00:11:13,915 --> 00:11:14,916
What?
323
00:11:15,750 --> 00:11:18,044
That man is lying.
324
00:11:18,295 --> 00:11:20,880
I don't believe Wuntch had another rival.
325
00:11:21,131 --> 00:11:24,049
I saw it in her eyes.
She only had hate for me.
326
00:11:24,341 --> 00:11:26,593
Are you jealous? Of course I am.
327
00:11:26,677 --> 00:11:29,137
I despised her with my entire being
328
00:11:29,221 --> 00:11:30,513
while she was only despising me
329
00:11:30,597 --> 00:11:31,723
with a fraction of hers?
330
00:11:31,807 --> 00:11:33,975
Sir, you were doing so well, okay?
331
00:11:34,059 --> 00:11:35,101
Don't let this rattle you.
332
00:11:35,185 --> 00:11:36,394
Are you wearing sponges in your armpits?
333
00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:38,021
If you have a better
way to soak up sweat,
334
00:11:38,105 --> 00:11:39,305
I would like to hear it.
335
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,640
Where are you going?
To find out if there was
336
00:11:42,151 --> 00:11:43,152
another man.
337
00:11:44,987 --> 00:11:46,989
So, um, Adam is it? Mmm-hmm.
338
00:11:47,114 --> 00:11:49,240
I only ask because Madeline
never mentioned you.
339
00:11:49,324 --> 00:11:51,474
Interesting, 'cause she
mentioned you to me,
340
00:11:51,617 --> 00:11:52,827
as a friend. Friend?
341
00:11:53,119 --> 00:11:55,204
Mmm. I think you added
an "R" to the word "fiend."
342
00:11:55,288 --> 00:11:56,580
No, I'm sure it was friend.
343
00:11:56,664 --> 00:11:58,082
I mean, based on context alone,
344
00:11:58,166 --> 00:12:00,000
I wouldn't say somebody
was one of my closest fiends.
345
00:12:00,084 --> 00:12:01,085
Oh, you might.
346
00:12:01,169 --> 00:12:02,878
We had a very contentious relationship.
347
00:12:02,962 --> 00:12:04,880
She never forgave me for embarrassing her
348
00:12:04,964 --> 00:12:05,965
in front of Derek Jeter.
349
00:12:06,049 --> 00:12:07,758
Well, I embarrassed her in front of A-Rod
350
00:12:07,842 --> 00:12:09,719
and J. Lo together.
351
00:12:09,844 --> 00:12:12,054
For 15 years I replaced
her anti-wrinkle cream
352
00:12:12,138 --> 00:12:13,222
with sour cream.
353
00:12:13,306 --> 00:12:15,515
I replaced her Lactaid
pills with Tic Tacs.
354
00:12:15,682 --> 00:12:17,225
Dead moron was crapping
her pants for months.
355
00:12:17,309 --> 00:12:18,559
HOLT: She hacked into my Netflix account
356
00:12:18,643 --> 00:12:20,103
and watched The Lizzie McGuire Movie
357
00:12:20,187 --> 00:12:21,646
on repeat to ruin my algorithm.
358
00:12:21,730 --> 00:12:23,106
She made me guard that doctor
359
00:12:23,190 --> 00:12:24,941
who came back to New York with Ebola.
360
00:12:25,025 --> 00:12:26,567
Sir, maybe you want to keep it down.
There's people…
361
00:12:26,651 --> 00:12:28,070
That witch ruined my life!
362
00:12:28,195 --> 00:12:30,488
She demoted me from
captain to uniformed officer.
363
00:12:30,572 --> 00:12:33,575
Eight years ago she had me
kicked off the force entirely.
364
00:12:33,867 --> 00:12:35,201
You were not her greatest rival,
365
00:12:35,285 --> 00:12:36,870
and the proof is right here.
366
00:12:37,329 --> 00:12:39,038
Hello, Adam. I may be dying
367
00:12:39,122 --> 00:12:41,499
but I burned down your cabin in Maine.
368
00:12:41,707 --> 00:12:44,335
-You were my one true rival.
-[MOUTHING ALONG]
369
00:12:44,668 --> 00:12:45,711
There you have it.
370
00:12:48,839 --> 00:12:50,174
I meant nothing to her.
371
00:12:50,674 --> 00:12:53,969
That cockroach Madeline
was two-timing me!
372
00:12:57,348 --> 00:12:58,599
No sign of Holt anywhere.
373
00:12:58,974 --> 00:13:01,018
I know that's important, but I
don't think I can just breeze past
374
00:13:01,102 --> 00:13:02,144
the outfit, Sister Act.
375
00:13:02,228 --> 00:13:03,312
I sweat through my clothes
376
00:13:03,396 --> 00:13:05,230
and I found this in the
back of a closet, okay?
377
00:13:05,314 --> 00:13:06,564
Deal with it. You look great.
378
00:13:06,648 --> 00:13:08,316
Oh, there he is. Sir, over here.
379
00:13:08,691 --> 00:13:11,360
Where were you? Why are you
holding the mean yelling speech?
380
00:13:11,444 --> 00:13:13,112
Because I'm gonna yell it, meanly.
381
00:13:13,196 --> 00:13:16,240
I wasted half my life
hating that duplicitous hag,
382
00:13:16,324 --> 00:13:17,575
and she didn't even have the decency
383
00:13:17,659 --> 00:13:19,160
to truly hate me back.
384
00:13:19,411 --> 00:13:20,412
Well, screw her.
385
00:13:20,703 --> 00:13:21,829
I'm gonna ruin her memorial.
386
00:13:21,913 --> 00:13:25,063
No, you can't do that.
If you read that speech, you'll be fired.
387
00:13:25,625 --> 00:13:26,626
You're right.
388
00:13:27,252 --> 00:13:28,752
And that would ruin my career.
389
00:13:29,671 --> 00:13:31,339
And it's worth it.
390
00:13:31,423 --> 00:13:32,464
I'm giving the speech.
391
00:13:32,548 --> 00:13:34,800
No, that's what Wuntch wanted.
392
00:13:35,092 --> 00:13:36,217
You're letting her win.
393
00:13:36,301 --> 00:13:37,385
DIAZ: Sweaty Amy's right.
394
00:13:37,469 --> 00:13:38,470
If you really wanna get back at her,
395
00:13:38,554 --> 00:13:40,430
you'll team up with Adam
and give her a nice funeral.
396
00:13:40,514 --> 00:13:42,098
It's like The Durrells of Corfu
397
00:13:42,182 --> 00:13:44,309
when Prudence and Louisa joined forces…
398
00:13:44,393 --> 00:13:46,643
To sink the catamaran
of the bookseller Yorgos
399
00:13:46,770 --> 00:13:48,647
who wronged them both. Yes!
400
00:13:49,648 --> 00:13:52,276
I will team up with Adam.
401
00:13:52,693 --> 00:13:55,320
Wow. [CHUCKLES] For a moment there,
402
00:13:55,904 --> 00:13:58,030
I almost forgot who the real villain was.
403
00:13:58,531 --> 00:14:00,908
The woman who recently died. Mmm.
404
00:14:01,868 --> 00:14:03,911
Charles, why did you
let Terry choose boxing?
405
00:14:03,995 --> 00:14:04,995
He didn't. I picked it.
406
00:14:05,079 --> 00:14:06,580
But you'll die.
407
00:14:06,664 --> 00:14:08,665
Don't worry about it.
Boxing's in my blood.
408
00:14:08,749 --> 00:14:10,084
My Nana Boyle boxed in the Navy.
409
00:14:10,168 --> 00:14:12,753
I'm sure she did but… And hear me out…
410
00:14:13,337 --> 00:14:14,922
What if you're not as
strong as your Nana Boyle?
411
00:14:15,006 --> 00:14:16,132
I can handle myself.
412
00:14:16,382 --> 00:14:18,842
She taught me her signature
punch, the Strawberry Basket.
413
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,226
That does not reassure me.
414
00:14:20,761 --> 00:14:25,306
Hey there, big guy. You sure you're
feeling okay about ending Charles's life?
415
00:14:25,390 --> 00:14:27,141
Yep, my girls are gonna see this movie.
416
00:14:27,225 --> 00:14:29,102
Right, well, before you
commit manslaughter,
417
00:14:29,186 --> 00:14:31,062
I do feel compelled to
tell you that the movie
418
00:14:31,146 --> 00:14:32,939
only has a 38 on Rotten Tomatoes.
419
00:14:33,023 --> 00:14:34,690
Jake, stop yapping and let them fight.
420
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,651
I wanna see the big guy
pop the little guy's head off.
421
00:14:36,735 --> 00:14:37,860
Yeah, let's start the fight!
422
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:39,362
I wanna pop that little guy's head off!
423
00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:40,946
You're clearly the little guy.
424
00:14:41,072 --> 00:14:42,822
[LAUGHS] Good one, Jake. All right.
425
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:44,450
I guess this is happening.
426
00:14:44,534 --> 00:14:45,535
Touch gloves.
427
00:14:47,829 --> 00:14:50,247
Charles, it's been very
nice being your friend.
428
00:14:50,331 --> 00:14:53,083
Terry, I'll visit you in prison. And…
429
00:14:53,542 --> 00:14:54,543
-[BELL DINGING]
-Fight.
430
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,627
Strawberry basket!
431
00:14:55,711 --> 00:14:56,879
[GROANS]
432
00:14:57,755 --> 00:14:59,881
Whoo, yeah! You mess with Grandma,
433
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:01,133
you're gonna get the basket!
434
00:15:01,217 --> 00:15:02,759
PERALTA: Charles, you
punched him in the nards.
435
00:15:02,843 --> 00:15:04,094
Yeah, Nana fought nasty.
436
00:15:04,178 --> 00:15:05,846
Now if you don't mind,
I'd like those tickets.
437
00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:07,264
I didn't hear no bell!
438
00:15:07,348 --> 00:15:08,516
[GROANS]
439
00:15:08,891 --> 00:15:10,934
Jake, I think those tickets are mine.
440
00:15:11,018 --> 00:15:13,186
Strawberry basket! [GROANS]
441
00:15:13,270 --> 00:15:14,271
[COUGHING]
442
00:15:14,355 --> 00:15:17,189
Guys, stop! It's a movie about cupcakes!
443
00:15:17,273 --> 00:15:18,441
You don't understand!
444
00:15:18,566 --> 00:15:19,734
You don't have kids!
445
00:15:21,152 --> 00:15:23,654
Wow, that speech would have been amazing.
446
00:15:23,738 --> 00:15:25,823
I had to look up what a toilet ghost was.
447
00:15:25,907 --> 00:15:27,158
Uh, yes, I took a trip to Korea
448
00:15:27,242 --> 00:15:29,092
just to research a new Wuntch insult.
449
00:15:29,327 --> 00:15:30,536
In fact, it's been a motivation
450
00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:32,455
for most of my international travel. Mmm.
451
00:15:32,539 --> 00:15:33,539
So you guys are friends now?
452
00:15:33,623 --> 00:15:35,875
Uh, yes, it seems we have
a great deal in common.
453
00:15:35,959 --> 00:15:36,959
Well, one thing.
454
00:15:37,043 --> 00:15:38,044
BOTH: Hating Wuntch.
455
00:15:38,294 --> 00:15:40,629
[LAUGHING] I read him
the obituary I wrote for her,
456
00:15:40,713 --> 00:15:41,921
but the Times wouldn't publish it.
457
00:15:42,005 --> 00:15:43,089
It had too many obscenities.
458
00:15:43,173 --> 00:15:45,508
And I read him my all caps speech.
459
00:15:45,592 --> 00:15:47,760
And I loved it. It was like poetry.
460
00:15:47,844 --> 00:15:49,721
"Madeline smelled like dog crap."
461
00:15:49,888 --> 00:15:52,515
Raymond convinced me the
best way to get back at Wuntch
462
00:15:52,599 --> 00:15:54,184
is to make sure he doesn't get fired.
463
00:15:54,268 --> 00:15:56,918
Also I'm just gonna chisel
a penis onto her headstone.
464
00:15:57,271 --> 00:15:58,897
-And I'm gonna watch.
-[BOTH LAUGHING]
465
00:15:58,981 --> 00:15:59,981
WOMAN: Please take your seats.
466
00:16:00,065 --> 00:16:02,317
Well, uh, time for me to go
make a tearjerker of a speech.
467
00:16:02,401 --> 00:16:03,860
ADAM: Hey, I thought of the best hashtag
468
00:16:03,944 --> 00:16:05,612
to post with my photo of the grave penis.
469
00:16:05,696 --> 00:16:07,196
I'm not on board with that friendship.
470
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:08,697
Yeah, there's something
weird about that guy.
471
00:16:08,781 --> 00:16:10,324
Hey, when did he say
he got kicked off the force?
472
00:16:10,408 --> 00:16:12,159
Eight years ago. That doesn't add up.
473
00:16:12,243 --> 00:16:14,161
He said Wuntch sent him
to guard the Ebola doctor.
474
00:16:14,245 --> 00:16:15,845
Wasn't that six years ago? Yeah.
475
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,291
Oh, my God.
Wuntch sent him to destroy Holt.
476
00:16:18,958 --> 00:16:21,001
Good afternoon. On this sad day,
477
00:16:21,085 --> 00:16:23,128
I'd like to say a few words
about Commissioner Wuntch.
478
00:16:23,212 --> 00:16:24,213
[MICROPHONE FEEDSBACK]
479
00:16:24,297 --> 00:16:25,965
Madeline smelled like dog crap.
480
00:16:26,132 --> 00:16:28,884
I'm sorry. I… I don't know what…
481
00:16:29,051 --> 00:16:31,012
From a sick dog. [LAUGHING]
482
00:16:31,470 --> 00:16:32,845
Adam, what are you doing?
483
00:16:32,929 --> 00:16:36,099
I'm showing everyone your
true colors, Raymond Holt.
484
00:16:36,391 --> 00:16:38,226
Enjoy the show, people!
485
00:16:40,812 --> 00:16:43,023
Madeline Wuntch will
not soon be forgotten.
486
00:16:43,273 --> 00:16:45,733
Trick or Treaters will dress
like her for generations.
487
00:16:45,817 --> 00:16:46,817
Hey!
488
00:16:46,901 --> 00:16:48,301
Diaz, delete all the videos.
489
00:16:49,571 --> 00:16:50,738
Deleted. It's over.
490
00:16:50,822 --> 00:16:53,574
Yeah, for you.
Everyone who's anyone in NYPD
491
00:16:53,658 --> 00:16:55,258
just saw you for your true self.
492
00:16:55,493 --> 00:16:57,704
Your career is ruined, Ray-Ray.
493
00:16:57,829 --> 00:16:59,538
Who are you? Why are you doing this?
494
00:16:59,622 --> 00:17:01,331
I'm Madeline Wuntch's nephew.
495
00:17:01,415 --> 00:17:02,541
She sent me here to carry out
496
00:17:02,625 --> 00:17:04,251
the final phase of her master plan,
497
00:17:04,335 --> 00:17:06,795
and now it's all over.
Wait, why are you smiling?
498
00:17:07,212 --> 00:17:11,258
Because, Adam, this
isn't the real memorial.
499
00:17:11,425 --> 00:17:13,302
It's all a ruse.
500
00:17:13,677 --> 00:17:14,678
What? Yeah, what?
501
00:17:14,762 --> 00:17:17,306
I knew Wuntch had one
final trick up her sleeve.
502
00:17:17,431 --> 00:17:18,473
I didn't know what it was,
503
00:17:18,557 --> 00:17:20,016
so I had to be prepared for anything.
504
00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:22,352
This whole thing was staged.
505
00:17:22,436 --> 00:17:23,936
None of these people are real mourners.
506
00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:25,688
They're not even in the NYPD.
507
00:17:25,772 --> 00:17:26,814
You hired actors?
508
00:17:26,898 --> 00:17:30,276
Worse.
They're members of local improv troupes,
509
00:17:30,526 --> 00:17:33,446
and they did it for "the exposure."
510
00:17:33,655 --> 00:17:34,905
This has been a blast,
511
00:17:34,989 --> 00:17:37,199
but we have to go start a flash
mob at the Freedom Tower.
512
00:17:37,283 --> 00:17:38,450
Oh, check out our YouTube channel.
513
00:17:38,534 --> 00:17:39,535
No. Sit down.
514
00:17:39,619 --> 00:17:40,619
I have to hand it to you, Adam.
515
00:17:40,703 --> 00:17:42,830
You almost fooled me,
but no other man could
516
00:17:42,914 --> 00:17:44,791
possibly have what Wuntch and I had.
517
00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:48,044
We were star-crossed haters.
518
00:17:48,211 --> 00:17:51,311
Whatever. I still inherit half
her estate just for trying this.
519
00:17:51,421 --> 00:17:54,257
Cool. Who gets the other half
of every child's nightmares?
520
00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:56,141
I love it, Rosa. Great work all day.
521
00:17:57,636 --> 00:17:59,220
So how are you two feeling
522
00:17:59,304 --> 00:18:00,638
after your little boxing match?
523
00:18:00,722 --> 00:18:03,141
My head hurts.
I can't feel my strawberries.
524
00:18:03,225 --> 00:18:05,769
I meant more emotionally
and less groinally,
525
00:18:06,019 --> 00:18:07,812
but listen, ever since I
brought these tickets up,
526
00:18:07,896 --> 00:18:09,856
you guys have made my
life absolutely miserable,
527
00:18:09,940 --> 00:18:12,275
but that ends now,
because I've made a choice.
528
00:18:12,401 --> 00:18:13,860
Cagney is sick.
We don't know how long she has.
529
00:18:13,944 --> 00:18:15,861
We do know for Nikolaj. It's 36 hours.
530
00:18:15,945 --> 00:18:19,531
Just stop, all right? Stop lying.
This is exactly the type of behavior
531
00:18:19,615 --> 00:18:23,327
that has led me to decide
that I'm not taking either of you.
532
00:18:23,411 --> 00:18:25,120
Seriously? Oh, man.
533
00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:26,663
The kids are gonna be so disappointed.
534
00:18:26,747 --> 00:18:28,999
No, they won't, because they're going.
535
00:18:29,166 --> 00:18:32,169
That's right, I'm bringing
all three of them by myself
536
00:18:32,253 --> 00:18:33,837
and you two don't get to go.
537
00:18:33,921 --> 00:18:36,340
Your childish behavior
has led you to miss out
538
00:18:36,424 --> 00:18:38,717
on the most exciting movie premiere event
539
00:18:38,801 --> 00:18:41,011
in the state of New York this Saturday.
540
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:45,432
I hope you've learned your lesson.
Good day.
541
00:18:47,058 --> 00:18:48,059
[SIGHS]
542
00:18:49,436 --> 00:18:51,103
Wait. He's taking the kids for us?
543
00:18:51,187 --> 00:18:52,813
It's just like getting a free babysitter.
544
00:18:52,897 --> 00:18:55,775
This is incredible.
People without kids are so stupid.
545
00:18:55,859 --> 00:18:57,459
They're gonna destroy him. Yeah.
546
00:18:58,778 --> 00:18:59,821
So just to be clear,
547
00:18:59,988 --> 00:19:01,906
this service is actually real, right?
548
00:19:02,031 --> 00:19:04,158
Oh, yes.
I figured if I needed two fake memorials
549
00:19:04,242 --> 00:19:05,493
to smoke out Wuntch's plan,
550
00:19:05,577 --> 00:19:07,869
she deserved to win, but she didn't win.
I did.
551
00:19:07,953 --> 00:19:09,453
Finally beat the old fishwife.
552
00:19:09,747 --> 00:19:11,790
It's crazy.
After today you never have to think about
553
00:19:11,874 --> 00:19:12,974
Madeline Wuntch again.
554
00:19:13,792 --> 00:19:15,192
Yes, I suppose you're right.
555
00:19:15,294 --> 00:19:16,694
Sir, does that make you sad?
556
00:19:16,879 --> 00:19:18,005
I don't know. [SIGHS]
557
00:19:18,672 --> 00:19:20,257
I think maybe…
558
00:19:21,675 --> 00:19:22,676
Yes?
559
00:19:23,469 --> 00:19:25,095
Well, I think it's natural
560
00:19:25,179 --> 00:19:27,055
to feel a little down about her death.
561
00:19:27,139 --> 00:19:28,765
For the last 20 years,
562
00:19:28,849 --> 00:19:30,517
your lives have been entangled.
563
00:19:30,642 --> 00:19:31,942
Because of her ratty hair.
564
00:19:32,478 --> 00:19:33,644
No, it's not the same.
565
00:19:33,978 --> 00:19:36,188
Now it just feels like I'm
insulting a helpless dead person.
566
00:19:36,272 --> 00:19:39,233
You are.
It's what you've been doing all week.
567
00:19:39,317 --> 00:19:40,417
Yeah, it's been tight.
568
00:19:41,235 --> 00:19:42,320
[EXHALES]
569
00:19:42,612 --> 00:19:44,112
Well, it's time for my speech.
570
00:19:44,197 --> 00:19:46,031
Sir, what are you gonna say?
571
00:19:46,115 --> 00:19:47,325
I don't know.
572
00:19:48,451 --> 00:19:49,751
Maybe I'll just be honest.
573
00:19:52,121 --> 00:19:53,455
Did he say he was gonna be honest?
574
00:19:53,539 --> 00:19:54,790
Yeah, this is gonna be bad.
575
00:19:54,874 --> 00:19:56,542
As many of you know, Madeline and I
576
00:19:56,626 --> 00:19:57,710
were bitter rivals,
577
00:19:58,461 --> 00:20:01,129
but I've come to realize she
held a special place in my life.
578
00:20:01,213 --> 00:20:03,924
No one challenged me like she did
579
00:20:04,966 --> 00:20:07,177
or made me feel as alive.
580
00:20:07,636 --> 00:20:10,806
Our relationship was
like an epic chess match.
581
00:20:12,849 --> 00:20:14,351
And it's hard to believe that…
582
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:17,812
she'll never make another move.
583
00:20:17,896 --> 00:20:18,897
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
584
00:20:20,023 --> 00:20:21,107
Unless…
585
00:20:23,568 --> 00:20:25,110
No, it's just a notification.
586
00:20:25,694 --> 00:20:27,612
Cheddar's doggy toothpaste has shipped.
587
00:20:27,696 --> 00:20:30,032
So she is gone,
588
00:20:30,908 --> 00:20:32,117
and I wish she were not.
589
00:20:34,245 --> 00:20:35,895
I will miss you, Madeline Wuntch.
590
00:20:37,581 --> 00:20:40,333
[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]
Wario, why are you like this?
591
00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:43,379
Hey, so I don't know if you noticed,
592
00:20:43,712 --> 00:20:45,839
but ever since I started
those hormone treatments…
593
00:20:45,923 --> 00:20:47,216
I didn't notice anything.
594
00:20:47,424 --> 00:20:48,550
You said that way too quick.
595
00:20:48,634 --> 00:20:50,634
I mean, you did cry at
that one car commercial
596
00:20:50,718 --> 00:20:52,011
and it wasn't even an emotional one.
597
00:20:52,095 --> 00:20:53,179
It was about towing capacity.
598
00:20:53,263 --> 00:20:55,806
Yeah. Well, I called the doctor
599
00:20:55,890 --> 00:20:58,100
to see if that was a common side effect
600
00:20:58,184 --> 00:21:00,103
and apparently, it isn't.
601
00:21:00,812 --> 00:21:02,605
Oh, no. Is everything okay?
602
00:21:02,689 --> 00:21:04,482
Yeah. She did have one guess
603
00:21:04,566 --> 00:21:06,116
as to what might be causing it.
604
00:21:06,484 --> 00:21:08,319
And, um, she was right.
605
00:21:11,030 --> 00:21:12,031
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
606
00:21:13,283 --> 00:21:14,367
Ames…
607
00:21:15,784 --> 00:21:16,869
Are we having a baby?
608
00:21:17,202 --> 00:21:18,370
We're having a baby.
609
00:21:19,079 --> 00:21:20,122
[CHUCKLES]
610
00:21:23,625 --> 00:21:24,626
It happened!